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and the persian car says "who?". The person who's sitting down in the carsays"im Bond, James Bond, and the persian driver says, " I'm beri, ghorboonam beri!" Sent By: Unknown  IN IRAN...WHAT IS IT THAT MEN GIVE FROM THE FRONT AND WOMAN GIVE FROM BACK??? BUS TICKETS!! Sent By: MOE DA MAN
a group of thugs take the turk out of his car and make a circle with their fingers in the dirt. they tell the turk to stay in the circle, and if he steps out they well beat him. the turk stands there while the gangsters start messing up the car badly with their bats. the turk starts laughing. they hit the car even harder and the turk is still laughing. by the time the car is totally screwed up, the turk is laughing is ass off. the guy asks him why the hell areyou laughing while we are messsing up your car. the turks says, "haha, i stepped out of the circle three times and you didn't see me!" Sent By: Reza
(stop you idiot) the son says to the dad, "I got to stop dad they have identified me." Sent By: pman British Airways was flying to Iran, Tehran from London. As they approach the skies of Tehran near Mehr Abad some thing goes wrong and they start having technical difficulties and the plane starts to mal function..... "Tehran, this is captain Smith, British Airways flight 525, do you read?" 'flight faive too faive, dis iz tehran taver felayt contorol, go ahead pileez' "Tehran, this is flight 525, we have a problem...." 'dis iz tehran, vat kind of a perAblem?' "This is flight 525, we have lost power to our engines, please advise" 'dis iz tehran, i reed you, pileez check some tings for me, okay?' "This is flight 525, go ahead Tower" 'dis is tehran, can you get emergency pAver to your engines?' " Negative, no power is available" 'dis is tehran, can you pileez bering your altitutde to toventy tAuzend feet pileez?' "Negative Tehran, our wing controls do not respond" '(respond? Ali? wat the hell is dat mean? bacheh boro Ali Agha ro peyda kon!)' 'dis is tehran, can you peleez see if you can lover your veels?' "Negative Tehran, landing gears are stuck" 'dis is tehran, vud you peleeze repeet thez vords after me' " Go Ahead Tehran" 'Okay , repeat after me: aShado ana lA elAha elallAh, va aShado ana mohammadan rasul allAh' Sent By: Farshad One day james bond gets into a taxicab who's driver happened to be a turk, driver asks him, sir what is your name? he answers bond, james bond , after a few minutes james asks the driver what is your name? driver says far, Qazanfar. Sent By: PERRY
Sent By: PERRY Rashti and his friend comes to Tehran, he tells his friend walk with me because i don't want to lose you, accidently he loses his friend, and he sees apolice officer as standing there he goes to him and says did you see a man without me? Sent By: Perry Quazvini gets married , and the second night he starts kicking the shit out of his wife, neighbors asked him why? he said she is not virgin,they said why didn't you say anything the first night? he said she was virgin the first night. Sent By: Perry King Hossein of jordan comes to Iran to visit, one day they decide to go to Quazvin, when they get there he sees an old man seatting under a tree and smoking smething , Hossein asks him what do you smoke? the man who didn't know Hossein answered Hashish, Hossein asked him what is Hashish? old man said it is something that when you smoke, you think you fly , and you enjoy, Hossein asks can i have some? man says ok. wkile the old man was helping him to take a puf, he asked him what is your name? he said ,Hossein, at second puf he asked him what are you doing for living? he said i am the king, old man said didn't i tell you? if you get another puf you will claim that you are God. Sent By: Perry A Quazvini who was carpenter was working with his son, suddenly the electric saw breaks and chops his ear off, after a few minutes searching his son founds an ear and says to his dad, is this your ear? Quazvini looks at the ear and says no, mine had a pencil on it. Sent By: Perry The guy gets married, first day he goes to his bride,s house, his mother in law says why don't you two go to a movie and enjoy, so they do that, while they are at the theater, the guy asks his new wife what would you like? she says sheer, so he goes and buys a glass of milk and gives it to her, again after a few minutes he asks her, do you want anything else? she responds sheer, he goes again and buys a glass of milk for her, during the movie every time he asks her what do you want? she says sheer, the guy is wonder why she drinks so much sheer (milk), till they get back to her house, her mother asks her how was their afternoon at the movie, she answers mom this man manra shelafeh (kalafeh) kardeh. Sent By: Perry Turk doctor is working in the lab. on a frog and he suppose to report the result to his boss, he puts the frog on the table, and hits on the table and says jump, frog jumps, later he cuts one of the frog,s leg and hits on the table and says jump,frog jumps again, finally he cuts the frog,s other leg and hits on the table and says jump, frog which didn't have any legs couldn't jump, then doctor writes on his report, if we cut both legs of a frog, frog goes deaf. Sent By: PERRY A LADY GETS IN THE BUSS AS THE BUS STARTS MOVING . LADY FARTS, ALL PASSENGERS LOOK AT HER AND START LAUGHING, LADY WAS SO EMBARESSED,TEHRANI JAHEL WHO WAS STANDING NEXT TO HER SAID, THAT WAS ME, EVERYBODY SAID WHAT A GENTELMAN? HE DIDN'T WANT THE LADY TO BE EMBARESSED,QUAZVINI WHO WAS IN THE BUSS AND SAW WHAT HAPPEND SAID FROM NOW ON EVERY TIME THIS LADY FARTED ,I DID IT. (BEGOZARID BE HESSABE MAN) Sent By: PERRY
he said (xoda'biamorz) my son mohammed also had a BMW from germany. Sent By: PERRY chinees guy goes to qazvin for a tour , when he goes back to china his friends ask him abought the trip to qazvin , he answered everything was fine ,but the only problem is tatawitooweh.(sound chineez) Sent By: PERRY american guy goes to esfeha'n, walking on the street ,passes a grocery store, goes inside and asks the owner what is this long and green fruit ? the esfehani says xiarest (cucumber), The american brags and says oh, we have xia'r in america ten feet long, esfeha'ni who knows this guy is braging does not say anything, again the american asks what is that yellow round fruit ? The esfeha'ni says portaqa'lest (orange), The american says, in america we have portaqa'l the size of a basketballs, on and on and on and esfeha'ni gets more and more frustrated, Finally the american sees a few huge watermellons and asks the esfehani what are these ? esfehani says not this time ,inha' da'neh angoorest. Sent By: PERRY A Qazvini goes to the drugstore in tehran and asks for two capoots seller says , all names have been changed, for example computer is ra'ya'neh, Qazvini asks then what is capoot ? seller says it is ga'ya'neh. Sent By: PERRY After the Iran-Iraq war, when the prisoners were coming back they asked one of them which happened to be a turk,, tell us what happened to your Gordon and why were you released sooner than others? The Turk replies(turkish accent) baad az inke gordone ma' assir wod, onha' nesfemon ra' kardand va nesfe digar ro kowtand,,,,,,, "albatte banda ra' kowtand!" Sent By: Emon
He did a range of tests and asked questians as any doctor would.And said he would call her and tell her when the results were back. We he called back and being indian he couldn't make the "kh" sound so he was trying to explain to the women that her blood dirty and it was high in choelesteral but he ended up saying kanoom koonet kaseefe. She was in shock at the remark but that was what the docter said so she imediatly went to the bathroom and made use of the aaftabe for hours and hours but she still didn't feel well. The next day she went to the docter walked right up to him turned around bent over and lifted her skirt. The docter in disgust at the big pruned red ass that had been obviously scrubed for hour and said ke yanni che. And the woman said " har chighat ke sy kardam , halam behter nashood ,toori khooda coonami paak kun. Sent By: timmy One day, a Turk was released from jail. He drove to his parents house. The mother aaked," How was it?" The Turk replied, "It was horrible. There were two types of punishments. Physically and mentally." The father asked, " What was the physically punishment like?" The Turk answered, " The physically punishment was that they just beat you with a whip every hour." Then, curiously, the mother asked, "What was the mentally like?" The Turk replied once again,"The mentally was the worst punishment of all, they show you noon barbari, but the give you noon sangak. :) Sent By: Aybaba Bita
Sent By: Farshad
Sent By: Afshin A small Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within afew weeks, the female gorilla became very horny, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.While reflecting on their problem, the park management noticed Asghar, a part time turkintern,responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Asghar, like most Turks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Asghar was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Asghar showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ashgar announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her." "Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this." The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what the third condition was. "Well," said Asghar, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500." Sent By: Live (NZ)
While he is there, he boasts of American advances in space technology and space travel. In the middle of his boasting a Rashti hears the astronaut boast about americans landing on the moon. The Rashti man tells him that going to the moon is not a big deal, and that iranians have landed on the sun. The astronaut explains to the rashti that the sun is too hot to land on. To which the rashti replies "Ma' waab rafteem"(we went at night). Sent By: Masood
he said i will sell it and buy a canadian visa Sent By: shamin one day a turk wanted to comit suaside so he lays his body between the train tracks,with two kiograms of noon lavash chained on him . after a while two iranain men walk pass and they realise his lying there , they ask him what the hell are you doing he said ime going to kill my self , the two men then asked him then why have you gat two bread chained to your self , he said because if the train was delaid i wont starve . Sent By: kaveh khatiri
An Ali(alley) Sent By: UNKNOWN
the officer asks him for infomation about his wife.he says well mr police man ,she cooks the best ghormeh sabzi.. officer says:hey i mean infomation that can help us find her. turk says: well she cooks the best gheymeh polo.. officer realizes that he is a turk and says: ok you be the police man and i become you and ask me the question and you might learn that what i mean.. so the turk ask the officer and the officer says: my wife is very pretty and tall and has a big boobs and thin waist and nice body and..... the turk stops here and says,forget about my wife,lets go find yours... Sent By: kamee
Sent By: afshar hamed
The Rashti answers : Someone is up in the house with my wife and " man Xodam ra' zadam be xareeat " Sent By: Ghabil
this is her story: first she married a rashty, he always said ok this is for neighber. second one was an esfahany he always said haifes, baraye baad. third one was a qazviny and you know he was always busy with... the last one was a turk, he always came under blanket and said: man be namoose khodam tajavoz nemikonam Sent By: ghazanfar Once a turk was asked : Whats your Idea about cigaret ? He answers : it's "Pedar e Sala'mati" They ask him why do you say so ?! He answers : because "Ma'dar e sala'mati ra' ga'hideh" Sent By: Ghabil
Another person is walking by and sees the guy, he says why are you smilling at the sky? The rashti says cant you see god is taking a picture Sent By: UNKNOWN A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "twenty-two." The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a calculator and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commissoner of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an Esphahani . The businessman asked him, "How much is two and two?" The Esphahani got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" Sent By: goozin4u This turk fell out of his window and he got up and heard people wispering. A man asked the turk what happened, the turk siad "I don't know I just got here" Sent By: ali turke
He gets in the street, puts them on and actually sees all women naked ! He gets home with his glasses on; goes to the bedroom and sees his wife naked in bed with another man! He immediately takes the glasses off but still sees her naked. He goes "boro baabaa, in eynak ke ka'r nemikoneh!" Sent By: Shahin-Austin There was a girl wanted to get married, but she had a huge problem and she was worried to death about this problem.The problem was that she was not a virgin any more. so one of her freind said to her not to worry i have a solution for this and told her to put one match (cubeh kebrit) between her private area and the groom would not find out about you. so the wedding night they asked the groom did you break the (pardeh) and he said: oh man not only I broke the (pardeh) I broke the (mileh-pardeh)too! Sent By: hamid vafa
He asks, "why are you doing this?" , the turk says "the sign said for "LEASE". Sent By: Big Kayvan One day a Rashty person came back from a QEYRAT CLASS and saw that his wife wass going outside and he asked her:"Koja' miri ba'ba' ja'n?" and his wife answered :"Da'ram miram pahlooye AKBAR A'QA'." And his husband answered:"Xeyle xob pas ba' AKBAR A'QA' miri ba' AKBAR A'QA' barmigardi..." Sent By: Amir One day a Rashdi man and his wife are on a nude beach. They are just sitting there when all of the sudden a bee flies up in the Rashdi's wife COS( vagina ). Her husband quickly scoops her up, tosses her in the car, and heads for the hospital. There was a turkish doctor in hospital which calmly tells the couple "My Anbor(prongs) are not long enough, I can not reach the bee, but I have a better idea." "Why don't you put some honey on the end of you're dick, and when he lands on it, pull out and we'll kill him." The Rashty guy agrees, so they proceed to another room. As they begin to try, the husband is so nervous that he can't get it up. The Rashty couple yells for the turk doctor to come in. He enters, and they tell him their problem. The turk guy says, "You know, if she gets stung by the bee it could be fatal, so this is very dangerous." "Why dont you let me try." The couple agrees. So the turk doctor puts some honey on his dick and puts it inside the woman. He starts pumping slowly, and then he increases his pace. Faster and faster, harder and harder until he's finally vigorously thrusting it in and out. "What the fuck are you doing," says the Rashty guy? "There's been a change of plans," says the turk doctor, " I'm gonna drown the bastard!" Sent By: Doctor
He dared anyone to step forward and complain. Suddenly one rashti steps forward and says." auu excuse me sir but I don't have any sister!" Sent By: ca'qokewe koloft
Sent By: NIMA KOON TOROBCHEH once this kid that didn't know any curses went outside and saw these people saying "Keer", he went further down and heard someone say "Kos", and went down a little further more and heard someone say "Jendeh Xooneh". he wet home and said to his mom, "mom wut does Keer mean?", his mom who was suprised to hear that said "don't ever say it but it means "Kerevat"(tie)". he said wut about kos, she said it means Ka'se(bowl), and wut about jendeh khonneh, she said it means awpaz xooneh(kitchen). so night comes and his dad comes home, and his tie was a little croocked, so he goes to his dad "BA'BA' Keeret Kajeh), his dad got so mad and said "Bitarbiat in harfha' ra' as koja' ya'd gereftie? Ma'ma'net Koja'st?", the kid says "To Jendeh xooneh da'reh kos miwooreh". Sent By: Farshad
So she goes to a plastic surgeon but she doesnt want implants because of the dangers, so she asks the doctor for a safer alternative. The doctor asks her if she has any fat on her body and she replies "no, but my mother has a lot in her butt", so the doctor removes the fat from the mothers butt and inserts it into the daughters breasts. A couple weeks after the surgery the doctor calls the mother to check up on her. he asks if she is satisfied with the surgery, the mother responds "yes for three reasons. One, i have a smaller butt. Two, my daughter is happy now with her bigger breasts, and three i have always wanted my son inlaw to kiss my butt, and now he does it every night" Sent By: Bahar One day this rich Iranian guy calls a local Persian newspaper to ask the editor to print an ad for him saying "Kati Mord". The editor replies back with great surprise that only "Kati Mord" is not polite enough and asks the guy to add more words to his line. The guy tells him that in that case it will be too expensive. The editor assure him that 2 words and 5 words will be the same price so additional three words won't cost him anything. So after a long pause, the persian guy asks the editor to write down "Kati Mord.Volvo for Sale" ! Sent By: SEAN
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